Sooner Or Later
by season5girl
Summary: "But why?" I pleaded, "Why stop something that feels so...so..." "Good?" "Right! That feels right." *Some Slash. R/S to be exact* Please R.R;)


DISCLAIMER: Not mine. A-a-alrighty then.  
A/N: It's slash, quite a bit of slash. R/S to be exact. I hope this doesn't bother you, but, if it does, you have been warned.   
SUMMARY: Remus wakes up alone, he didn't start out that way.;)  
  
  
  
Sooner Or Later  
  
  
  
I woke up to an empty bed, quite the opposite from how it was when I had went to sleep...at whatever time that was.  
  
I gulped, sitting up and noting with a painful burst of reality that I wasn't wearing any clothing. I looked around the room, which was empty, a window was open and the wind blew inside making the sheer curtains dance.  
It played with the pages of a book that rested on the old wooden desk, which sat up against the bottom of the window.  
  
Sunlight came in as well, slightly muffled by what I assumed were clouds, I could see only their shadows.  
  
I heard birds, twittering in the trees on the green and lush lawn outside.  
  
It was gorgeous.  
  
The bed in which I lay was a four-poster canopy, with light, see-through curtains and white sheets. It was wonderfully comfortable. And it was a special bed to me. I wouldn't soon forget it.  
  
I pulled the sheet away from me-it stuck in odd angles-and slid across the bed to get out on the left side.  
  
It was out of habit. I always got out on the left side of whatever bed I was in, even if I had been sleeping on the right.  
  
The air was mild and warm, it felt good as it hit my bare skin.  
  
Skin, my skin was sticky from sweat and chaffed along the inside of my thighs. I let out a low sigh and glanced up to look out the window again, finding some comfort in the view outside it. That of lawns and trees, hills in the background, such a view of spring. It was wonderful. So peaceful.  
  
I stood up, grabbing a robe that lay on the floor; discarded last night in haste and now seeming very important. I took it carefully in my hands and turned it right-side-out again, then slipped it over my head, making my way across the sun-drenched room towards the bathroom and shower that lay at the other end.  
  
Moments later, I was immersed in water, it was streaming down across my body-naked again-, removing some of the sweat and itch, and working my muscles out of the knot in which they'd been.  
  
I emerged, clean of dirt and of some of my regret. Now it was time to find my always elusive partner in crime.  
  
I slipped my robe back on and crossed the bedroom, my bare feet making a soft padding noise on the clean wood floor. Glancing out the window one more time before I left and entered the hall; darker from lack of windows but still with a heavy scent that only spring could have brought into it.  
  
I wandered down it for some time, not calling out for who I was seeking, but just looking, opening doors enough to peer inside before closing them the way they had been.  
  
After what seemed like forever I ended up in the kitchen, it too, was painted with light colours and strange glass that seemed to reflect rainbows into the sink.  
  
I slid my hands along its clean surface. If I had been a bit better a cook I would have made breakfast more elegant, but I did what I could and in the end it seemed to turn out better then I had hoped. I never was good however much I wanted to be, at mixing ingredients and coming up with something that worked. Maybe it was why I never liked Potions.  
  
I smiled, laying the meal out on the table; breakfast for two. My smile faded, I was the only one who would be eating it if I didn't find him soon.  
  
And then I heard the front door click, my head snapping up.  
  
Footsteps were approaching this room and then there he was, he looked tired and concerned. He never looked concerned. It hurt that I seemed to be the only thing that could make him feel poorly.  
"You're awake." He said, his voice something on the bridge of tears, it cracked with laughter as he saw the breakfast I'd made sitting, steaming on the table.  
  
"You made breakfast..." He croaked out, burying his head in the newspaper he held. I never knew where he got them; he always seemed to come back with one, but how he managed without anyone seeing him...I'll never know. Maybe James lent him his cloak? But that presented too many problems and explanations to James. I laughed inwardly; maybe he just stole it.  
  
"I-didn't think you'd mind, Sirius."   
  
"I don't, Remus...of course I don't."   
  
"What's wrong then?" I asked, sitting down at the table and motioning for him to do the same. "We did it again, Moony, old friend." He said, flopping down heavily into the chair.  
  
"Did what?" "You know perfectly well!" He snapped and I recoiled. "Oh, no, I didn't mean it like..." He moved over to me and put his arms snuggly around me, holding me to him.  
  
It always would give me the feeling that I was the only human in the world to him. So warm and loving, so needing of me.  
  
"You know, I just meant...we'd-" "Promised that last time would be the last." I answered, I felt him let out a breath; hot against the back of my neck. "Yes."  
  
"Do you r-regret it?" I asked, trying to control myself.  
  
"No." He said, almost lightly, "I don't. I'd do it again if you wanted me to, that's the problem, Moony, that's what we have to stop."  
  
"But why?" I pleaded, "Why stop something that feels so...so..." "Good?" "Right! That feels right." He pulled back, to look in my eyes, I wonder what he saw. "It feels right to you?" "Yes, of course it does! It's not like it would be with anyone else, it's so different so...meant to be."   
  
"How would you know, Moony, you've never been with anyone else!" He grinned, though I didn't see it in his eyes.  
  
I looked down; I couldn't stand to see him laughing without being glad of anything.  
  
"So...we won't do it again." I muttered, feeling as though I'd just shot myself. "This will be the last time we make love." I was determined; I'd stop if he wanted to. Which he did, I know. Even though I didn't.  
  
He looked sad now, genuinely sad. His eyebrows moving inwards as he contemplated my words, and his head dropping to rest on his chest.  
  
"...No..." He whispered, an aching word full of memories and hurt, so much emotion for such a tiny word, it was all it took for me to cry.  
  
He was pulling back, his arms resting on mine, holding me still-holding me at a distance.  
  
Tears trickled down like rain across his face, staining it with a shining layer of wet. The light danced off it, making it spark.  
  
His head still rested on his chest and he sniffed loudly, lifting it to face me, though I still faced down. He put a single finger to my lips, to quealth my murmured cries and objections.  
  
He put his arms around me again as my shoulder shook with un-tapped tears.  
  
"I woke up this morning," I choked out, "And you weren't there. And I wanted you to be so much, I looked for you but you ended up finding me as always, and now I'm the one saying I want to lose you again, but I don't! And it isn't fair that I should! Stay here." I ordered without much conviction.  
  
He tugged me close again, tucking my head underneath his I heard him sigh as he shut his eyes, preparing himself for something I'm sure he didn't think he'd ever say.  
  
"Alright. I'm staying here...with you."  
  
I pulled away and stared up at him. "Why?" "I want to."   
  
It was such a simple answer, but then what did I expect? Sirius was a player; he loved woman, all the girls in Gryffindor and the other houses, save Slytherin. They all loved him, and he winked at them all, smiling and chuckling.   
  
And then...there...was me. What was I to him? One of his best friends, yes. True, I was that. And then one night, months ago now, something changed. We were in detention, in the Infirmary, cleaning out bedpans and making beds.   
  
Sirius had come over to me, looked me straight in the eyes and said: "I have never wanted to kiss someone as much as I want to kiss you right now." I blinked, and in that split second, his lips were on mine, it was warm and good. And it didn't stop for months.   
  
Look, where it's brought us to, Sirius, look at us now.  
  
Sun drenched and tear stained, he kneeled in front of me, as I sat, limply in my chair. Breakfast cooled on the table, the murmur of voices in the village outside began. And we were the only two people in the world just at that moment.  
  
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, promising each other forever, and meaning it.  
  
I didn't know that it would last, how could I? I was so young then. I was afraid of our friends hating us for it, or being expelled for it, I never dreamed of the future that ended up taking place because of it...  
  
Remus Lupin dropped his quill, the ink splattering across the damp words he'd just finished. He looked out the window in his office, term was almost over, and spring was beginning to settle itself on the grounds.   
  
And every time he passed the Shrieking Shack he remembered him. Remembered their nights there.  
  
The light was drifting in, along with the wind, cooling hot skin and damp eyes. Sirius always found him, which is just what Remus was waiting for him to do now. Sooner or later, it would happen. He knew.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Review? It'd be very helpful and nice and much appreciated! Thanks! 


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